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And forget when I go back? I think...I'd rather enjoy being the village groom.

Then that is what you should be. No one here will hold it against you and other than Ivan you are beholden to no one.

You're right. I'm...not used to that. Thinking like that.

It's not something that will change overnight. A lifetime of habits and methods of thought don't vanish easily.

Yes, speaking of that, sorry about Ivan.

The one that suggested the drinking? Do not worry about it.

I didn't tell him about your orders. And he's rather conditioned to act a certain way about potential threats to my person.

Were I in his shoes I would have reacted in much the same way. I can't think ill of him for it. If Anything I'm impressed.

As much as he'd rather slip past the radar, he's still High Vor. He'd never treat you badly. Well. He'd never intend to.

Most don't. [She shrugs.] And yet sometimes it still comes to pass. It isn't something I'm overly worried about.

[But Gregor can't help caring about how the Barrayarans are perceived here. In their own universe, they're sometimes seen as being sort of backward and barbaric. He'd rather avoid that here.]

And you shouldn't be. You understand why I didn't stop him from asking you to leave?

I do. Honestly after that I wouldn't have wished to stay much longer, if at all. It's not exactly conductive to a celebratory mood.

Actually, it was because it's Ivan's flat, not mine. Anything I say to him, whether or not I mean it in an official capacity, is probably going to be obeyed. It's his right to decide who is and is not allowed in his flat, and I'm supposed to protect those rights.

Is this helping you understand?

Edited Date: 2012-10-02 11:40 pm (UTC)

It is. I don't have much experience with militaristic societies or a hierarchy such as this, nor do I have any relative situations to compare it to.

It's just...something I've never done before. Balancing my friends who are my subjects with my friends who are not. It was kind of a moot point back home.

I'll do what I can to keep that from being an issue in the future. Even when one isn't in your situation it's difficult enough.

Elegantly spoken, from the woman who gave me a black eye and called me...what was it? A "fucking idiot."

There is a time for eloquence and a time to be blunt. The trick is to know when to change over in one's language. Or to simply not give a shit.

Right. But I don't think you need to be formal with me right now. You've been forgiven.

If you're certain.

My foster-mother's religion places particular emphasis on forgiveness. I hear it's good for interpersonal relationships.

Far better than the alternative. You've enough on your mind without holding a grudge.

[The drawback to being Gregor is that only people who know you really, really well can tell for sure whether or not you're teasing.]

I...really have come to value you, Adele. I don't have many friends here. Thank you.

[She's still learning his ticks and quirks. It'll be some time yet before she can pick her way through deadpanned humor. But she tries.]

You're dear to me as well, Gregor. It's why I became as mad as I was. I handled everything poorly but...I do count you close.