[Not the thing about family, but the fear of snapping. Because he knows that it's not a simple thing. It can happen at any time, a world shattering or being turned upside down with a single word or action. There's no saying that it won't happen, no predicting it. He knows how tenuous life is in that way, viscerally.
What startles him most is the urge to hug Gregor, to do something to reassure him of a thing that allows no reassurance. He's not used to feeling that urge, that desire to reach out or offer comfort, particularly not when it's someone over the age of 10. Instinct always tells him those people are not safe.]
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Date: 2012-10-12 03:48 am (UTC)From:This, I understand as well.
[Not the thing about family, but the fear of snapping. Because he knows that it's not a simple thing. It can happen at any time, a world shattering or being turned upside down with a single word or action. There's no saying that it won't happen, no predicting it. He knows how tenuous life is in that way, viscerally.
What startles him most is the urge to hug Gregor, to do something to reassure him of a thing that allows no reassurance. He's not used to feeling that urge, that desire to reach out or offer comfort, particularly not when it's someone over the age of 10. Instinct always tells him those people are not safe.]
It is difficult, never feeling... safe.