I just... [His hands open. Gregor tends to talk with his hands when he lets his guard down.] I can't shut my mind off. I can't let go. It was better not remembering, because then I could be anyone. I don't think I was even depressed anymore. And then everything came back all at once, and I just...didn't know what to do with it. I haven't known what to do with it for months now, and when it hit all at once...