vor | Fifth Cream Cake: [Action/Voice]

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Fifth Cream Cake: [Action/Voice]

[Almost two weeks spent in Malnosso captivity and what does Gregor have to show for it?

Lots and lots of band-aids, mostly. Also a minor cold that has turned into a chesty cough.

Instead of any great torture, drugs, or whatever he'd been expecting, the Malnosso mostly took DNA samples. Blood samples. Tissue samples. He's from further in Earth-universe's future than most besides Ivan, so maybe his specific point in human evolution was of interest. He understands the "lab rat" metaphor pretty well now. There hadn't been a lot of space in his cell, so he's a little stiff and sore. At least the hallucinations are gone. That had been the worst part--having to assure himself that this was a normal reaction to solitary confinement. He slowly heaves himself to his feet, blindly scrabbling for his journal. Writing is not easy with all his bandaged fingertips, so he speaks, sounding hoarse, slightly congested, and exhausted.]

Ivan. [A pause. ] Buffy. Adele. Whoever's...interested, this is Greg. I'm back. [He coughs a couple of times, fairly hard.] The Malnosso...anyway, I'm fine. It...wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm heading home now. Did someone take care of my horse?

[He'll take about fifteen minutes to walk home from his spot in the woods.]

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Well I'm glad someone was enjoying the effects of that shift. More often than not it was a mere inconvenience, as I could still write what it was I meant to say.

[Adele shrugs as she prepares Gregor's tea, then offers the cup over.]

It's good for there to be loopholes. [He takes the cup from her with a soft thanks, then balances it carefully as he takes a delicate sip.]

At least until the last day, then I had to sing and write in song lyrics. I spent a great deal of that day locked in my room. Drinking.

[She snorts a laugh at the memory and prepares her own cup of tea, sitting back with a sigh.]

When you said it wasn't as bad as you though it would be...what did you think it would be?

Hell. Torture. Being kept in a cell was inevitable and a nightmare on its own, but not deliberate torture. Everyone's made it all out to be the worst thing possible.

[...It was still bad. He warms his hands against his cup, looking very, very blank.]

Everyone's experience varies. The majority of my time was spent shouting at the walls, but I have heard of those that were tortured, and of those that were treated kindly. There's no baseline from which to extrapolate what to expect- so most expect the worst.

[For a moment, she says nothing. Then she turns to look at Gregor, eyes somewhat critical. Nothing seemed injured, but it was prudent to ask.]

You do not require a visit to one of the clinics, do you?

[He shakes his head.] No, I...I heard people... [He goes even blanker, but his eyes are strangely wide.] But they didn't...do anything to me. Nothing bad. I was mostly just...locked up. I think they only took me out a few times. Sometimes I wondered if they'd forgotten about me. After a while, I didn't know how long I'd been there.

...not all torture is physical.

[It's a gradual, tentative gesture, but Adele does reach out to rest a hand on Greg's shoulder. Something she hadn't brought up with Ben, or anyone. Something she did her very best to push to the back of her mind and never, ever think about again. That wasn't coping, that wasn't healthy, but she simply didn't know how to deal with it.

Adele can't imagine that Greg has any idea better than she does.]

At first you're glad they've left you alone. yes?

[He's been Emperor of Barrayar--BARRAYAR--since he was four. He has been told what to expect from a lot of these kinds of things. He wouldn't say it prepared him.]</small. Not really. It just...made me anticipate the worst was coming.

Good. [Relief wasn't wise in that situation. Not for anyone, especially not here.] No matter what it is they end up doing it's never as bad as you imagined. If you feel relief- it will always be a horror.

[He gives her a long, hard look. And stays quiet. Because she's telling him something.]

...

[Her eyes slide away from his and down into her tea. It's not something she's discussed with...anyone, really. It's not something she thinks about. Trying to talk about it feels muck like baring her neck for a blade.]

You keep time however you can. And it never works. It smears together in between visits.

Visits?

Interrogations? Whatever you wish to call the times they haul you back out for their own use.

I lost track the first time I fell asleep.

I couldn't. Not at first.

Really? A surgeon couldn't get sleep when the opportunity presented itself?

Shocking, I know. [She snorts and sips her tea, warmed by it.]

[His throat is tightening. He sets the tea down and gets comfortable, lying down on his side and curling up for warmth. If he weren't tired as hell, he wouldn't do it in front of Adele, this sort of body language being sort of like a cat showing its belly. It's only when he's comfortable around someone that he goes so completely informal, even if he's still very controlled.]

It took...probably about six hours for me. Once I stopped panicking. Then there was nothing else to do.

[If she knew where to find one, Adele would find a blanket or something of the sort to offer Gregor. As it stands she's a guest and is more than a little unfamiliar with the layout of his apartment. Instead she reaches out to rub his shoulder. A noncommittal, comforting gesture that's a little less intimate than what she'd initially thought to do. Gregor isn't so well known to her that she can ruffle his hair just yet.]

I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I tried- it simply never stuck.

It was a little harder after I got sick. I couldn't stay asleep as long.

[He doesn't resist the touch. It feels...well, sort of like something Cordelia might do.]

And there's little else to do but wait. Or rage at the walls- but that's counterproductive more often than not.

There's pacing.

Six steps, turn, six steps, repeat. It becomes dull after the thirtieth time.

But it gives your body something to do. A little exercise. Keeps the blood going, gives some kind of stimulation. Until it wears you out after a few hours and you just...lie down and don't want to get back up.

That is typically when they'd return for me. Irregular enough, yes, but...it always seemed as soon as I managed to exhaust myself, they would come.

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